He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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