Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
