Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
