You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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