Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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