Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
