He asked me if I "almost moaned"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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