awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm always down for nudity.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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