So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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