Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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