This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
