some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
OPIZZABONMYDICK
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
