Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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