I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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