I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've blown a few things in my day
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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