i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
