a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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