You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
