he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
