How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
