ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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