Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
