If that was your dad, he is hot
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
