Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
