Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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