Betty ford says i'm here all night
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
