My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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