It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
