i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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