ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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