We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
