Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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