And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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