yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
