dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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