i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
