I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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