I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
