yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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