everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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