you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
