I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
