Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
