No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
