so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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