The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
