How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
