Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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