Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
