did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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