Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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