i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
